wolfhaleylovesmarykate:

I don’t know whether to cry out of pain, or laugh at myself for being foolish enough to believe I was special. With this I fall back into my depression. Slowly but surely I’m getting back to my suffering and agony, the point in my life where I really don’t want to continue. The saddest thing is no matter how hurt I am over this I’d probably do it again. The death of my happiness. I don’t know what I want. I want to believe that everythings fine and that there are no problems but we all know that’s a lie. There’s always a problem, even when I’m too stupid to notice it. I have no pride no self love no self esteem all I had was her. My world and my love. My joy. My life. But I’m the last thing she wanted, the last on her mind. I’m the last on everyones and that’s something I believe I was cursed with. I’ve had something I worked at for over two years taken from me in two weeks. By a stranger. I caused this though, I caused the unhappiness. I caused the suffering. I’m extremely unstable. I need a hug. I need someone to take this knife out of my hand and tell me they love me and that it’s going to be alright. Even if they don’t and even if it isn’t. It’s never going to be. But they won’t notice. And neither will she.